Elite Japanese Lesson: Mastering Family Terms (N5)

In Japanese culture, the way you talk about family depends entirely on who you are speaking to. This is rooted in the concept of Uchi (内 - inside) and Soto (外 - outside).内外

To master N5 Japanese, you must learn two distinct sets of family vocabulary:

1. Humble Terms (Uchi): Used when talking about your own family to someone outside your circle.
2. Polite/Honorific Terms (Soto): Used when talking about someone else’s family, or when addressing your own family members directly.

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Study this comparative table. Notice how polite terms often use the respectful prefix お (o-) and end with the polite suffix さん (-san).

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Rule 1: Talking About Your Own Family (To an Outsider)

When speaking to a teacher, boss, or stranger, always use the humble form for your own family. Never use okāsan or otōsan to describe your parents to outsiders; it sounds like you are elevating your own family above the listener.

• Example:
  • 母は日本語の先生です。母日本語先生
  • Haha wa nihongo no sensei desu.
  • (My) mother is a Japanese teacher.
  母日本語先生

Rule 2: Talking to Your Own Family Members (Directly)

When you are at home talking directly to your parents or older siblings, use the Polite (Soto) terms. It shows affection and respect.
Note: Younger siblings are usually called directly by their first names, not by "otōto" or "imōto".

• Example:
  • お父さん、朝ご飯ですよ。父朝飯
  • Otōsan, asagohan desu yo.
  • Dad, breakfast is ready!
  父朝飯

Rule 3: Talking About Someone Else's Family

Always use the polite form, and pair it with the possessive particle の (no) to clarify whose family you are discussing.

• Example:
  • 鈴木さんの奥さんは親切です。鈴木奥親切
  • Suzuki-san no okusan wa shinsetsu desu.
  • Suzuki-san's wife is kind.
  鈴木奥親切

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To ask about someone's family, use this standard N5 pattern:

$$\text{[Person]} + \text{の} + \text{[Polite Family Member]} + \text{は} + \text{[Question/Statement]}$$

• Example Q:
  • トムさんのお姉さんは何歳ですか。姉何歳
  • Tomu-san no onēsan wa nansai desu ka.
  • How old is Tom's older sister?
  姉何歳
• Example A:
  • 姉は二十歳です。姉二十歳
  • Ane wa hatachi desu.
  • My older sister is 20 years old.
  姉二十歳

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To remember which is which:

• Haha (母) sounds like laughter. Your mother makes you laugh.母
• Chichi (父) sounds like "chief." The father is traditionally the chief of the household.父
• These short, simple words are humble. The longer, grander words (okāsan, otōsan) are polite.